I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
