i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
