we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
