I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
