Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
