He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
