Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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