Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
