Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
