Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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