It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
