Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
