I'm really into asian looking animals
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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