I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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