Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
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