So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
