i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize