Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
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I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
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You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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