He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
