You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
