Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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