I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
