happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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