if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Shame - the story of my life.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
