He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I can't turn off my feet"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
