i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just had sex on a roof
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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