he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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