No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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