i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
