I think my fart just growled at me.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
