sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
