She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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