Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
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Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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