That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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