Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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