at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
