I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
