btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
