I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
