I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
