I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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