Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
