its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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