sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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