Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
