; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
