The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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