His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
