The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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