Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i think i have two assholes
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
