Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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