Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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