oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
