so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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