Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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