Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
