They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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