Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
