does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
