its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
