I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
