Dual....:-)
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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