Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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