nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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