Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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